Post-Schna-ulations

East of Eden

There are those of you who know these stories, and for the repetition, I apologize. However, I feel inspired to share with you some "shannon-stories" of old (what i mean by "shannon-stories" are not stories ABOUT me, but stories that i TELL).
These come from when I was about five years old. I went to AM kindergarten, so my Mom had me at home in the afternoons. She is a hairdresser and has always had a beauty shop in our home. My job was to entertain the (usually older ladies) customers while they sat under the big '70's style blow dryers (olive green, of course). Sometimes I would play games with them, like checkers or connect four, and other times I would just chatter on about whatever (surprised?).
Back then, I still went to Sunday School on occasion, where we would read those comic book style Bible story books with the connect the dots puzzles and Noah's Ark mazes. Inspiring.
The ladies whose hair my mom would set and perm always loved to hear what I was learning about in Sunday school, and despite being horribly shy and quiet (HA!), I would tell them. My two favorite interpretations of Bible stories from back then include the following:
1) Jesus turned water into Booze. Mmm...booze.
2) God kicked Adam and Eve out of the Park.
I'm sure there were more, but these are the two that my Mom enjoys telling when she wants to make fun of me.
Another time, I was playing checkers with this 90-some year old Grandpa of the family whose hair my mom was cutting. After playing for several minutes, I stood up (to my full 2.5 feet) and yelled at him that I wouldn't play with him anymore because he cheated. Well....he did!!
Sadly, I can't show you my "Pop-Up Shannon" video. :) But I can say that I was the best damn 8-year-old lip-syncer of whitney houston in the history of elementary school talent shows!!!

So, in the spirit of embarassing things we said and did when we were children, share with me your stories (and Tiffanie, you're only allowed to tell stories about yourself and not about me!! If there is ANY mention of vampire squirrels, I will have to take my revenge!).

posted by Schna @ 9:29 AM