Post-Schna-ulations

Hand gazing

Were I a purist-Freudian, I would classify myself as a classical orally fixated personality. I talk a lot, I love to eat, I've been a nail biter my whole life...
In late July, I was in a wedding. The day before the wedding, the bride (a friend I've known since I was 9) and I went to get manicures. She wanted the manicure, I went along for the bonding experience. Since then, I have kept my nails painted with the ever-fashionable clear nail hardener and have not bitten my nails. Over a month and counting!!!
In breaking this habit (I hope!), I have been able to reflect more upon it (which has led to reflections on various other things, which I will get to later). First, I noticed that I bit my nails in sistuations in which I was nervous (big surprise) or unable to talk (like in class listening to a lecture or at business meetings for work). Further support for the Freudians who are dying to classify me into a neat little oral package (hmm..that sounds kinkier than I intended...).
I've also found myself contemplating my hands more during the past month than ever before. I like the way that normal length nails look. My fingers suddenly aren't so stubby looking (still stubby, just not quite as bad). I've found that when I look at my hands, as opposed to looking at my overall self in the mirror, I look my age. My hands are not the hands of a 17-year-old (even though I have gotten carded occasionally at rated-R movies). Yes, they're freakisly small, but there are subtle lines, signs of aging I can't quite identify but that are there nonetheless. I've also found, in contemplating my hands, that they remind me of my mom's hands. Strange...I thought that was just a clevor ploy for books and movies. Honestly, how many times have you heard some narrator (in film or on paper) talk about remembering someone's hands (usually after said person has died)? Hands that are wrinkly, smooth, leathery, soft, firm, or pliable?
While people use lotion, manicures, and various other treatments to halt or slow the aging process of their hands, they age. There is no makeup to hide them or make them look younger. When trying to determine someone's age in the past, I now recognize that I have often looked to their hands. You know those terrible Maury Povich (my mom is a big talk show watcher) shows where you have to figure out who's really a man or woman amoungst a group of cross-dressers? Well, even then, (i'm so ashamed to admit i've watched these shows...on numerous occasions!) I look to the hands. Next time you see a movie star who is in her 40's, but looks 30 (this is usually the case with the women more than the men), check out her hands. 40-year-old hands, I can almost guarantee it.
So, to end my (pointless?) dissertation on hands, I will say this; I think a lot can be revealed about a person my his or her hands. I am beginning to think my hands suit me perfectly.

posted by Schna @ 8:40 AM